Jen (00:08.814)
Mel, welcome to the MumSafe Movement Podcast. How are you?
Melissa Neilsen (00:13.954)
I am well, thank you Jen, thanks for having me.
Jen (00:16.942)
I'm very excited that you're here. Before we deep dive into everything, would you like to share with us or could you share with us a word around how you're showing up today, a win and something that you're working on at the moment?
Melissa Neilsen (00:31.906)
Sure, so my word for today and every day this year is better. I promised myself this year that I was going to do better and so I live by that every day. My win is that I've recently been contacted by the Women's Weekly to do a piece in their magazine which is very exciting. They're looking at how rural women are being supported out here and they found me and so I'm getting that opportunity tomorrow.
And then working on, I am currently in initial stages of planning a retreat for the rural women that I work with to try and, yeah, give them back a little bit of love that they so much deserve.
Jen (01:16.206)
Very cool. Where are you gonna run your retreat? Is it gonna be a local thing or are you gonna, where are you gonna go?
Melissa Neilsen (01:21.666)
Well, it's very difficult because I've got women all over Australia, but local, close to me, Townsville. So that's about five hours drive for me. And that's a little bit central to the Queensland women that I've got in the group. But there will have to be obviously a fair bit of travel involved, seen as we're all spread so far apart.
Jen (01:42.99)
Yeah, we're going to get stuck into that as we go. Mel, well, one, I just want to say that if we have any interruptions during the podcast, you did let me know that your internet is a little bit up and down today. So hopefully if we have any interruptions, people can bear with us. But tell us a little bit about where you're located.
Melissa Neilsen (02:03.202)
Yeah, so I live in Northwest Queensland on a cattle station with my family. So that is, yeah, we're about an hour from our nearest small town, which just has the basics, but five hours from the city, the specialists, you know, doctors, dentists, anything, yeah, that you need that's a little bit more than the basics. Yeah, so out in the sticks, we say.
Jen (02:29.39)
How do you cope with that? Like how does what does organizational look like in terms of you can't just go get some milk or you can't just go get the bread when you run out? What does that look like?
Melissa Neilsen (02:38.658)
Yeah, it's tough and it took a bit of adjusting when we first moved out here. But you just do without, you just get by, you make do. Or you'll, you know, if you hear of someone coming out this way, you'll get in touch and say, can you bring some milk on your way? I'll meet you at the highway or something like that. So it might be 30 minutes drive to the highway, but you'll get your milk. So yeah, you either manage or go without.
Jen (03:03.438)
Thank you.
Jen (03:09.486)
Yeah, right. Some kids, I can imagine myself on a Friday and I'm the kind of person that eats all the chocolate that's in the house. So I, and I deliberately don't buy it unless I'm willing to go to the shops to get it. So that would be a different level of either discipline or dedication to go and buy it.
Melissa Neilsen (03:25.282)
Yeah, I have this problem all the time. The person I am in town at the shops say I don't need any chocolate so I don't buy any and then I get home and I regret because it's going to be another week or two before I get back to the shops to get the chocolate. Yeah, that's a battle.
Jen (03:39.854)
Yep absolutely. Melissa tell us a little bit about your journey and what got you to what you're doing today within your business which is rural women's exercise.
Melissa Neilsen (03:53.122)
Yeah, so I come out here 15 years ago with my husband and to live and work on the family property and you know, got married, had kids, just the stock standard thing you do. But after my third baby, I struggled with my postpartum recovery and realised that there was a great lack of support for rural women with regard to that. There was no education or awareness around.
any of the things that I was experiencing. So yeah, I had already been in the fitness industry prior to my third child and experiencing the pelvic floor dysfunction that I did. However, it was just very base level. Yeah, my knowledge was minimal. So I ended up in my own journey learning about
all things womanhood as far as healing postpartum and started to incorporate that into my business. And that's when I studied with Eugene and did the safe turn to exercise so that I could share with other women because once I started talking about it to the ladies out here, they're all like, me too. gosh, I didn't know that. No one was talking about it. So I started incorporating that into my business, which is...
Jen (04:54.99)
Hmm.
Melissa Neilsen (05:19.65)
led me to creating rural women's exercise because I thought if the small group of women that I'm talking to are understanding and resonating and you know asking questions then there's a whole world of rural women that are being left behind. So that's led me to where I'm at now. Yeah, did that cover that?
Jen (05:40.654)
It did, but I'm going to delve in a little bit deeper and ask a few more questions. So did you have all your babies living where you are now?
Melissa Neilsen (05:50.606)
Yes, yep I did and all three were very different experiences. Yeah it's very difficult having a baby out in the bush because you have to travel so far for your antenatal checks to see your doctors and then to go and have your baby you know they don't deliver in the rural services mostly anymore so you have to travel to the city and sometimes women are waiting there four to six weeks to have a baby you know because
Jen (05:53.454)
Okay.
Melissa Neilsen (06:20.098)
Just gotta sit it out and wait for your baby to come.
Jen (06:23.95)
So they're waiting, they said they traveled to the local city and wait there for four to six weeks for the baby to arrive. Yeah, right.
Melissa Neilsen (06:29.57)
Yeah. Yeah. So, and I mean, every doctor is different. Every mother's situation is different. So some doctors might think it's a low risk and they'll say come two weeks prior, but we're still leaving our homes and living in town. Often without our husbands, our family, we might have other little kids with us. Yeah. And if things go to plan, yeah, you might not be there for very long, but if things don't go to plan, you could be there waiting a long time.
Jen (07:01.038)
That's a lot, isn't it? Like, birth is challenging anyway, and... yeah.
Melissa Neilsen (07:07.362)
Yeah, it is huge. And, you know, I didn't get to experience it with my first because she came earlier and I went into labour when I was travelling. So we ended up at a different, we landed up in Rockhampton instead of Townsville to have her. And then my second one went into labour early here at home and had to travel over to Townsville in the middle of the night, five hours in labour.
And then my third, they said to me, you better come earlier again. And this time, because you probably have another early baby and he went full term. So I was the five weeks in Townsville, twiddling my thumbs with two little kids under, you know, in school age. So I had to keep teaching distance Ed from the house we were renting in town at Townsville and juggle that. And then hubby would come and visit in between, you know, because someone has to stay home and look after the property. Yeah.
Jen (07:41.358)
Mmm.
Melissa Neilsen (08:04.546)
It's a juggling act.
Jen (08:04.814)
Yep.
It really is. And when you just said then throwing homeschool into the fact that you're waiting for another baby to arrive. So given how far you're away from everything, then homeschool is just what is done in rural communities is that is a so it's distance education or you take it on yourself and you teach you become the teacher.
Melissa Neilsen (08:13.954)
Yes.
Melissa Neilsen (08:29.25)
Yeah, yeah, so there are a few small schools if you're lucky enough to have them in your area. But for most of us, you know, it's just there's no bus runs to travel, get the kids to travel into town that far. And it's such a long way for kids. So, yeah, most families opt to distance at a home school and the mother is often the tutor. Yeah, in those scenarios.
Jen (08:50.222)
Yep. Yep. Mel, when you had, so what I heard you say before was it was after your third that you struggled postpartum. Was there, I know you just said that the birth was full term rather than a couple of weeks early. Was there something that happened during the birth that made it more challenging postpartum or was it more things that happened postpartum?
Melissa Neilsen (09:15.234)
Probably a combination. So during the birth, I felt rushed. I was told that there was a shift change and I needed to have this baby by 10 to seven. They broke my waters and got everything happening really quickly. And I didn't feel like I was given the time to let my body do what it naturally needed to do. And then...
I had trouble birthing my placenta and again, I felt like they didn't give me the time. And I don't really know what happened in that scenario because I was quite, yeah, I don't know, in shock and feeling all the feels and quite scared. But hubby did say I was losing a lot of blood and that's why they were rushing me and they were preparing me for emergency surgery. However, a big buxom midwife who was, yeah.
She was quite rough lady. She just put her hand up inside me and reefed the placenta out. And I feel like that was step one of my, yeah, the beginning of my pelvic floor dysfunction. Because then, you know, they told me I just had a small graze, wasn't anything to worry about. I was in hospital for less than 24 hours having care. And then, you know, it's smack bang straight back into reality of being a mum and then add in.
Jen (10:27.182)
Yeah.
Melissa Neilsen (10:40.61)
rural life, we went home and I'm back to doing all the things, you know, we were mustering, so I was cooking for men, cleaning, you know, doing all the things that a mum does plus add in, yeah, the farm life and that's what brought me undone. In the end, I think I just overdid it. I did not have time to heal. I didn't let my body heal and I also wasn't very aware of...
Jen (10:42.83)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (11:08.098)
how much trauma my body had experienced. I wasn't, yeah, I didn't quite understand, I don't think. And had I been informed, had I had the education and the awareness around, you know, what needed to happen for me postpartum, I may not have been in the situation I ended up in.
Jen (11:29.098)
What there's a couple of different tangents I want to go on and delve down but tell me what postpartum care does look like. So you've birthed your baby, you've left within 24 hours. You know, we do that in the city but we go 10 minutes down the road and we then get midwives come and check on us for the next. I remember when I had both my kids if you left under a certain amount of time then you got those midwife visits but if you stayed in hospital longer then you don't get the visit. So I was like, get me out of there, come and visit me at home.
Melissa Neilsen (11:33.314)
hehe
Jen (11:58.638)
but I'm assuming that's not happening for you. So you're going home and then so what is the, do you get on Zoom? Do you get on the phone? Like, is there anything?
Melissa Neilsen (12:08.45)
No, and I mean, it may have changed, you know, I'm, my baby is now six. So it could have changed in the last few years, but no, I've literally come home and the only time I went to see the midwife was if the baby had to have a checkup. So there's nothing for the mother. And yeah, it was only because I went to the midwife for a checkup for the baby that I said to her what I was experiencing and...
Jen (12:25.102)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Neilsen (12:37.666)
she gave me a list of things to do to support me. But obviously there was no recovery plan because she didn't have access to that. Yeah, so, you know, I got all the stock standard, you know, eat really well, lay down as often as possible, make sure you rest when the baby rests, you know, stock standard stuff that we all get told. But as far as her being able to say, look, here's a health professional that absolutely will understand and know what you can do.
and his referral, she couldn't provide that.
Jen (13:12.078)
Yeah, and how long postpartum was that? So you went back to the midwife to check on your small human, but so.
Melissa Neilsen (13:17.506)
It was three weeks postpartum I went. So well actually I think it was three weeks postpartum that I prolapsed and then I couldn't get into it for two weeks. That would have been five weeks. Yeah. Then I went in.
Jen (13:21.55)
Yep.
Jen (13:32.078)
Yeah. And did you feel like when you say you prolapsed, what did you feel? What did you feel when that when you thought something had happened?
Melissa Neilsen (13:38.946)
So, yeah, so I went from being able to do everything to barely being able to move without feeling like everything was falling out of me. Yeah, just complete fear to get up and walk because it felt so uncomfortable. And yeah, I remember getting Lucy, my eldest, to lift my baby out of the cot for me because I couldn't pick him up.
Jen (13:49.07)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Neilsen (14:06.37)
because the pressure of lifting was way too much. So it was really scary. And because we don't have access out here, I couldn't just ring the doctor and duck to the doctor.
I Googled, which is the absolute worst thing I could ever do, but that was the only source of information I had. So, yeah, it was terrifying.
Jen (14:25.774)
Yeah, I've...
Jen (14:33.39)
can imagine and being so alone, I guess, without having people close by to really talk to you. What had you been doing Mel from like getting home before you said you you were mustering mustering is that cows or horses like the horses with the cows? So what? Okay. So for those three weeks, you'd been caring for a new baby homeschooling to other children and then what?
Melissa Neilsen (14:49.186)
Getting catalog, yep, yep, yeah, getting cataloging, yeah.
Jen (15:01.006)
what was the work that you were doing? You said you were cooking and what else did that entail in that kind of three week period?
Melissa Neilsen (15:07.49)
Yeah, so cooking and cleaning, you know, the workers quarters, my own home, my own kitchen, and then, you know, we've got working dogs. So it was walking backwards and forwards to the dog cages every day and feeding dogs and carrying bags of dog food, you know, that out here they're 20 kilo bags and, you know, we might get two or three at a time. So you're carrying them to fill up the dog food bin. And then, you know, there were weeds, there were prickles. So I decided I'd spray the prickles and,
Jen (15:26.702)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (15:37.446)
you know, the boys might need something down the paddock. So I jump in the buggy and load up all the kids and we'd go down the paddock in the buggy and you know, I'd have the baby strapped to my chest the entire time. You know, we'd be branding. So over you'd go with the baby in the pram and you'd help them brand the calves, you know. So it was just, it's a lot of physical labor that I just really didn't factor in. I thought, yeah.
Jen (16:00.59)
Mmm.
Melissa Neilsen (16:04.322)
I was just, I thought I was superwoman. Like, look at me go, I could do all these things. I didn't know how much, yeah, harm I was doing to my poor body at the time.
Jen (16:13.038)
Yeah. And then so we hit the three week mark and you feel heavy and you have the prolapse and how does that then, I mean, obviously you've got this two week waiting game before you see a midwife, but how does that then affect your capacity on your property and the kids and being a mum and how you feel about yourself? Like what? Yeah.
Melissa Neilsen (16:42.466)
Sorry, you dropped off at the end there, but I think I've grasped it. Yeah, so, you know, to go to the doctor, to go to the midwife was like an hour drive and Stu couldn't come with me. So I had to take myself and then obviously the kids. So then the kids were missing out on school. So then I'd have to juggle that when you come home, you know, catching up on school and...
You know, so it's an hour drive into town, but then you might be in there for an hour. Then you've got to get groceries and do all the other jobs that you do because you make the most of your town trips and then come home. So, you know, you're away from the home for half a day or full day. And there's no one here to pick up the slack. You know, you just get home and everything's waiting for you. So it was exhausting in itself, just having to go to town to get the treatment I needed. And.
I wasn't really getting the treatment I needed anyway, you know, it was getting support from the midwife but yeah, it wasn't fixing me.
Jen (17:51.406)
Yeah. So what then if you've got this diagnosis and they've given you like minimal support, that's when your learning started or your learning started. I'm assuming that you're out there looking at ways you can support yourself.
Melissa Neilsen (18:05.506)
Yeah, so the midwife said to me I could try and work with the physio and I spoke to the physio who he would travel out every fortnight and he was great but he was just the physio, he wasn't a specialist women's health physio and the only way he would tell me is that he could help me was he would talk to his wife who was a midwife and he would talk to her about my case and she was giving him information from her knowledge to help him support me.
which, you know, he was a lovely guy and it was great and he was very helpful, but it didn't leave me with much faith or trust. And it was also a man, which again, he was wonderful. You know, nothing against him, but it was a man and I didn't feel comfortable explaining, you know, what was going on with me and my women's health. So, yeah, the word women's health physio never came up. Like it was never,
Jen (18:56.238)
Hmm.
Melissa Neilsen (19:05.602)
there was no such thing as far as I knew until I started. I think, you know, all my Google researching, Facebook was listening and that's when things like your ads started coming up in my newsfeed and I started getting curious and, and realizing that, that there was life after prolapse and pelvic floor dysfunction that, that it wasn't the end for me and that I could recover and that there was actually people.
that specialized in it and it is a thing, you know, like I thought I was the one and only that it had happened to and that it was just life and that's how you will forevermore live. Like they didn't realize that there was things you could do to help until yeah, it started coming up for me. And that's when, yeah, that sort of cued my research and delving deeper and again, having more conversations, talking to more people and finding out that there were options.
Jen (19:38.446)
Mm.
Jen (19:57.518)
Mm.
Jen (20:04.782)
Yeah, so what were the key things that you did in your personal recovery?
Melissa Neilsen (20:12.834)
So I did the exercises, you know, I was prescribed exercises from the physio and I did them. It was key. I talked to so many women that get prescribed exercises, but they can't be bothered to do them. And they're still in the same place where they started. And I think because for me, not moving was not an option. I couldn't be physically active. And it wasn't because, you know, the farm wouldn't survive without me. It was because I knew for me to stay mentally well.
needed to be able to move. So I, you know, I did the hard work, I put in the effort and yeah, I did what the physio told me and then, you know, that was because access was so difficult and so hard. I did that for like six months, just not really knowing if what I was doing was working and was correct for me, but try.
like having a little bit of faith in the physio that he knew something and yeah, I trusted the process and stayed with it and yeah, I did recover slowly but surely.
Jen (21:24.238)
Yeah, yeah. And then that's led you to what you're doing today. And I know that we've kind of back, we've gone, that's where you were, this is where you are and then, and that's how you've got there. But what could have been done differently for you? Like what, if we could wave a magic wand within what's happening with rural women birthing babies, what do we need to do to make it better?
Melissa Neilsen (21:55.074)
so I feel like if I feel like if we could have a women's health physio, if not at every women's, at every rural hospital, if we could at least have access to one, you know, that so that after, you know, like we go to the doctors for our GP, we go for our midwife checks for our babies. I feel like if that was just part of the process.
Jen (21:57.582)
This is your soap box.
Melissa Neilsen (22:23.234)
like there would be so many more women not suffering. And I feel like we need to be doing that before she has her baby, before we fail, before we fall down in a heap. We need to know, we need to be educated beforehand. So ideally I would love that. I don't know how we go about that. I try within my realm to...
Jen (22:32.174)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (22:53.154)
get the women that I communicate with to understand that. A women's health physio is so important regardless of where you're at in your womanhood journey and trying to connect them with the appropriate professionals. And I'm very lucky that I have those women that can connect via online purposes. So that's, yeah, that's super important, I think. And I don't think...
Jen (23:05.486)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (23:22.498)
we appreciate enough the difference they can make. If all we're doing is just talking about it and educating women, we'll be a lot more aware. And like you say all the time, we don't want women saying, why didn't anybody tell me? Because you know what, that is exactly what I said. Like I said it repeatedly, like why didn't you tell me? And even when I left hospital, they gave me a pamphlet of pelvic floor exercises. They literally just gave it to me. No one said to me.
you've experienced trauma to your pelvic floor, this is what you're going to have to do. And, you know, within the next week, six weeks, whatever, you will need to make contact with Women's Health Physio so we can start a rehabilitation process. No one said that. And still to this day, no one has said that. Like no one, no one's saying that to women. There's no rehabilitation process for women unless we seek it out and ask for it. And the only time we seek it out is once things have gone wrong, you know, like,
Jen (24:15.79)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (24:20.034)
no one's taking into consideration that women are already experiencing massive trauma to their bodies even if they don't think it's traumatic and there's no rehab for us so yeah I could go on all day.
Jen (24:36.27)
It's, it's yeah. And so could I, because I'm listening to you speak and it's like, it's no different in the city, which is just shit. Like, I mean, I think we have an easier job because we have much more access. So you go to one person and they can't help you. So you go to another person and all of these people are within five, 10, 15, maybe 20 minutes, get in the car, jump in the car and drive. And you've got so much more access to a wealth of professionals where you may land on the right one. But.
Melissa Neilsen (24:46.562)
Yep.
Jen (25:06.094)
It's the same everywhere. It's why are we not in, you know, in the pregnancy stage saying to women, go and see a pelvic health physio and then postpartum, why is it not part of that journey? If let's, let's get you thinking for a while. Let's say someone was listening. I don't know who someone was listening that could, could wave that magic wand and make it work. But let's say that the women in your communities actually can't,
Like, what would it look like to have women supported in a way that they don't necessarily have to travel unless they really need to travel to get that support? Have you ever thought about what that could look like?
Melissa Neilsen (25:51.714)
Yeah, I have and I try and do it, I try and do it myself within my little crew with just having the conversations, just doing the zoom calls and the education around it and talking about it and then and then that sparks the conversation where they say hang on a second, I'm actually experiencing that I didn't know that it was not normal. And, you know, and then I put them in touch with the, you know,
Jen (26:00.558)
Yeah.
Melissa Neilsen (26:20.834)
the person they need to see. But the thing is, I'm only getting the people that are coming that have something wrong. They're not coming to me prior. And it's young women who've had their first baby and they have that baby and they come and say to me, I'm fine. I can get back into exercise I don't need. And I'm like, can you please just go and see women's health physio? You might be fine. You might think you're fine and you may well be fine.
Jen (26:30.414)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (26:47.586)
but I would love for you to just do a little bit of rehab or at least get assessed to see if you do need that. Because yeah, it's not until we're 50 and hit menopause or 60 or 70 that then, you know, they are having these issues and it probably could have been prevented had we done the groundwork back after they'd had their babies. So yeah.
Jen (27:07.926)
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
Melissa Neilsen (27:12.002)
Yeah, it's getting people to understand that, yes, you're OK now, but you might not be. So you need to come and listen. You need to listen to me.
Jen (27:19.31)
Yeah, and also if you are working and I'd love to know a little bit more about like what is the other physical work that you're doing on the property as part of your daily life? What does that look like?
Melissa Neilsen (27:32.642)
yeah, like you could spend five hours sitting on a horse chasing cows. You could be driving around in a grader, fixing a road. You could be walking kilometres of a fence line, putting up a new fence. Yeah, like it could be you could be in the shed welding. You know, it's very varied, but it's all physical. Yeah.
Jen (28:02.134)
And I think that's the biggest thing, right? Yeah, it's all physical. And you're not sitting at a desk and I, yes, women in cities have the same problems, but we get to sit in nice comfy offices or not everyone. I know lots of women have physical jobs, but it's not expected that you're out working in a physical way for us, I guess. Yep. Yep.
Melissa Neilsen (28:03.362)
Yeah, so.
Melissa Neilsen (28:26.69)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And people take it for granted, I guess they like, you know, they'll say, yeah, you're driving the truck, but it's the climbing in and out, you know, 10 times to open the gate. And they're not little trucks that, you know, it's a big climb. And things like that.
Jen (28:43.726)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (28:46.69)
physically hard on the body and you don't realize even like for me with my pelvic floor, you know back when I prolapsed there was no way I was climbing into a truck. I could not climb into the truck because there was just no strength within me to lift myself up and feel supported because it was yeah, I didn't have the functionality. So yeah, we need to be functional out here.
Jen (29:12.238)
Yeah. And then that's the repetitive, repetitive, heavy lifting over time. Then we go into perimenopause and menopause. And if we've not looked after it, then, yeah, yeah. Tell us a little bit about your business and how people find you and what you're doing and, and all of the amazing things that you're doing.
Melissa Neilsen (29:32.13)
Yeah, so I created Rural Women's Exercise and it is all 100 % online and it's an exercise service for the women in the bush. So I do live workouts every morning and the women can either jump on with me live or they can catch a replay and do a workout. They're quick 30 minute workouts so that, you know, we're all busy, we've all got things to get and do, so quick and effective.
And you can find me on Facebook or Instagram at Rural Women's Exercise. There's a link there that you can go to my page and check out more of what I do.
Jen (30:11.438)
Yep. So what does a typical, so if someone comes into work with you, what is the process that they go through so that one, you can start to get to know them and two, they can start to get to know themselves and discover all the things that maybe they've never learned about before.
Melissa Neilsen (30:27.426)
Yeah, so you register and then I'll send you an email which you'll get details about what we're going to do and how we're going to do it. And then I'll send you a pre -exercise screening. And that screening form is just so that I can get to know you physically, mainly, and understand your history, your health history. And it often brings up, you know,
Jen (30:46.83)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (30:52.354)
Well, it has all the questions about if you've had children in your birth experience that sort of thing and it often then provokes those questions and restart a conversation about the woman's health and Obviously, I'll refer people out if they need it and then once you're in the group Yet we do our workouts and every day it's you know we're talking about our pelvic floor and our core and how we activate how we breathe and And then we do master classes
several times throughout a term where we will then delve really deep into all things and it's all things womanhood so it's not just your pelvic floor and core it might be your mental well -being it might be your hormones we cover off all sorts of things any questions that my clients come to me with I generally turn it into a masterclass because I figure if they're asking me then the rest of them probably have the same question to start brave enough to ask it so yeah.
Jen (31:34.862)
Mm.
Jen (31:50.766)
And what are the key questions that are coming your way?
Melissa Neilsen (31:54.914)
you know, how to stop leaking, how to fix your pelvic floor is like the most common one I get, especially from older women.
Melissa Neilsen (33:36.066)
Yeah, so majority are about pelvic floor and how to fix any sort of pelvic floor dysfunction. And most women saying, I just thought, you know, leaking was normal. So there's that topic that comes up time and time again. And another big one that we're getting at the moment is perimenopause, symptoms of menopause and teaching. I've been teaching women about that because so many women are currently losing their mind thinking that they've
lost themselves, they're not themselves anymore, they don't know who they are anymore. And we start talking and we're like, could this be perimenopause? And it's another topic that women aren't talking about and no one has any education on, no awareness around. And once we say, maybe that's what it is, and let's have a little bit of a chat about it, you can just see like a weight lifted because they're like, yeah, you know, I'm not the only one and...
this is maybe a normal part of being a woman and there's things that I can do to just get support for myself. So yeah, that's huge at the moment.
Jen (34:37.262)
Mm.
Jen (34:44.174)
It's interesting, isn't it? I had this conversation with someone the other day and it's like, there's different points in women's lives where you feel like you're losing yourself. And probably if we think back to like going through puberty and things like that, you're like changing it, but no one tells you what's happening. So you're just like, I'm changing. And you stay in the dark unless you've got a great mom who's talking to you about it. And then it happens to you again during pregnancy and birth. And then it happens to you again during perimenopause and menopause. And we have to start having...
better conversations about the stages of being a woman.
Melissa Neilsen (35:18.05)
Yeah, and do you know, I think, like we need to tell our men and our boys about it. We need to teach them because for example, like, it might be too personal, but for myself, my husband was just like, you know, thinking he'd lost his wife, like she's just this, like he doesn't recognise her anymore, you know, he, and he shut off from me and he was really quite, you know,
Jen (35:25.742)
Hmm.
Melissa Neilsen (35:45.186)
like just reserved and we didn't have that connection. And I really feel like it was because he didn't understand what I was going through. And I was, you know, it took a bit for me to go, you know what, this is actually what I think is happening with me and I need your support and your understanding. And, and explain to him the shift in the hormones and all that sort of thing so that he could understand, no, it's not that I don't love you anymore. It's not that, you know, I'm a crazy lady. This is just, you know, a stage in my life that I'm going through.
But he, you know, he didn't know because I hadn't told him and society hasn't told our men, our boys, that women aren't like men. We aren't built the same. Our hormones don't work the same, you know, and how nice it would be if we could just have a life where our hormones are just on a platter. This is what they are and they stay like that, but they're not. We're constantly shifting. And I think if we can get the ones around us that are supporting us to understand and have that education and awareness as well would be game changing for women.
Jen (36:45.646)
Yeah, I agree. I agree. It's, it's, it's not women's businesses. It's everyone's business. And we all need to be openly talking about these things. Yep. Definitely. I want to flip flip around a little bit and I'd like to, we're going to kind of have a bit of a businessy kind of chat if that's okay with you, because you're doing some amazing things in the world, which we've kind of already talked about. But give me a little picture about, you know, when, when was rural women's exercise founded? How big was it? What's the
Melissa Neilsen (36:51.266)
Yeah.
Jen (37:14.99)
the development and the growth and the change been since you founded the business up until today.
Melissa Neilsen (37:21.378)
Yeah, so once I founded it in 2020. So I'd been like I said earlier, I've been in the fitness industry for a little while. But once I recovered from the birth of normie, I decided, you know, like, I have to start helping other women with this because, you know, it's not just me. And so I started in 2020. And I started with maybe 30 or 40 women. And it was just, you know,
basically through word of mouth, talking with my friends and local women in my area that I started working out with them. And it started off very much like, you know, your four week challenges and, you know, kick the winter blues and I'd just do random things. But it's since grown because of, because of demand. It's since grown to, you know, full terms, 10 week terms, like the school term.
And at the moment, there's over 100 women in the group working out with me every day. And yeah, all women from different walks of life, different backgrounds, and not all rural, anyone that can't access a gym or doesn't feel comfortable in a gym or working out, just wants to stay home. Mums that can't leave their house because they've got little babies. And all across Australia, which,
Yeah, it's so cool and we all connect, you know, in the mornings. We never see each other face to face. Well, some of us do if we're lucky enough to live close enough, but we're just so connected because we all get it. You know, we're all in the same boat. Our boats may look different, but we're all on the same journey and it's just been lovely to connect with so many women.
Jen (39:11.982)
And beyond those like initial 30 to 40 which were word -of -mouth how how is the business grown to over a hundred women? Like what do you put that down to or what are some of the key things that you've done?
Melissa Neilsen (39:24.354)
Yeah, so obviously word of mouth has been a big one. Friends talking to friends about me and sharing. A lot of it has been social media, increasing my online presence and creating business practices. I've created the landing page where people can go and read my bio and they can go and find out more about me.
Jen (39:28.558)
Hmm.
Melissa Neilsen (39:50.114)
You know, it's not just me sitting in my house saying, Hey, would you like to work out with me? Like there's information and definitely building my knowledge. So becoming mum safe has been huge because as soon as you say mum safe people, people's ears prick because they're, you know, like, I'm a mum and I need someone to work out with. That's going to keep me safe. So that has been paramount in my growth as well. So yeah, probably those three things are the main.
things.
Jen (40:20.238)
Awesome. And what are some of the biggest, like I know that, you know, you talked, talked earlier on about women's weekly getting in contact with you. What are some of the other big wins that have happened for you or to you? It's not really to you, is it? With you over the last, I don't know, well, since the business started, but let's say the last six to 12 months.
Melissa Neilsen (40:40.226)
Gosh, so big wins.
Jen (40:44.814)
or little ones. You can share as many wins as you like. We all like to celebrate wins. You know that.
Melissa Neilsen (40:49.666)
Well, within the business, the win of one woman and is one woman's life changed and I feel really privileged and I don't, you know, like 30 women wasn't very many women, but that was 30 women and now 100 women is amazing. And, you know, every woman's life that I can help support, I'm super privileged to be a part of. So that's a win in itself, but a win personally for me with creating this business has been able to become.
Jen (41:05.998)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (41:19.426)
financially independent myself. So on a farm, in a farming family business, if you're married into it, you pretty much work for the love of your partner. You know, and so being able to create my own business and support myself and have some control over my future has been amazing doing that. And so much so like recently, yeah, I've been
bought my own little townhouse in the city so that when we have to go over there for medical appointments or whatever, I don't have to pay accommodation anymore. And I've got an asset at the end of the day. So I'm really excited about that. And when I was trying to do it, that's all I could think about. And now I've done it. I'm like, right, so what's next?
Jen (41:53.87)
Hahaha!
Melissa Neilsen (42:09.058)
I should be content. I should be content. I should be like, right, that'll do. But no, I'll just keep, it's exciting because, you know, you sit out here on your own most of the time and you don't have control. And yeah, it just gives, it's given me purpose and it's given me some freedom. And yeah, I love it. I love what I do and I love, you know,
Jen (42:09.646)
So good. I love it. No.
Melissa Neilsen (42:39.042)
benefit of what I do for me and for the women I do it for. So yeah, it's pretty good.
Jen (42:45.486)
Yeah, it's, it's funny. Well, there's a couple of things I picked up there is number one, don't stop. Like what is next? Because I remember you saying at the retreat, the mom safe retreat last year, I want to buy a house. And then it wasn't even like the retreats, not until August. And she's like, message, Jen, I bought a house. Like, look at this. It's like, holy fuck, you did buy a house. Like, well done. so don't stop at one house. Like build all the build the wealth.
Melissa Neilsen (43:02.91)
Yes.
Jen (43:14.318)
give yourself the freedom, I guess, and you're in what you're in right now and it is what it is, but you have options and you have the capability to stand on your own two feet if and when you ever need or choose to, I guess. And what was the other thing I was gonna say to you? Is yeah, one of the things, funny, I often reflect on my journey and reflect on why I do what I do and...
you know, the tagline of mom safe is safe and effective exercise for moms at every stage of motherhood. I've been going deeper than that lately and talking about, you know, when we don't educate women, we remove their power. Like we take power away from them by not educating them about their bodies. But then I often reflect on, you know, the mom safe team and the amazing trainers like yourself that work in there. And the other angle for it for me is women building businesses that. And I.
The word empower, it doesn't stick well with me, but I'm gonna say it anyway, that empower them to continue to take control of your life by doing fucking amazing stuff with women in your community. So it's this like amazing, I don't know, what's the word? It's not a cog, it's not a cycle, but it's like an, what's that word? Ecosystem of.
Melissa Neilsen (44:32.866)
I don't know. Yeah. Yep.
Jen (44:34.83)
women looking after women and giving back to women and by women paying you, you're able to like paying you for your gifts and what you can do to them, you're able to create a better life for, you know, for yourself and that stability.
Melissa Neilsen (44:47.458)
Yeah, and then it comes around again. So like I recently done that speaking gig and I spoke at the Women's Day Conference in town and you know, they weren't all women in my situation, but just speaking to them about, you know, finding a passion and building that and committing to your goals and knowing what you want and not letting anybody tell you, you know, that you can't like you absolutely can. Like then that
then that flow on effect, then that I've gone and encouraged all of them to then go and do what they want. So hopefully they're inspired. So yeah, there's a flow on effect. Like it's, yeah, it's huge the effect that we have.
Jen (45:29.678)
Absolutely, I love it. If you could, if in your lifetime or your business lifetime achieve one thing, what would it be?
Melissa Neilsen (45:47.074)
I would say financial freedom. I feel like I'm just starting to feel that now, but to actually not have to stress, to be able to make the choices without concern and to really, to just not worry, do you know? And to be able to just do the things we want to do and live the life we want to live.
Jen (45:53.742)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Neilsen (46:20.354)
live without the stress and I know that that's, you know, everybody's, probably everybody's dream, but yeah, just out here, it's so hard. The debt is massive. The work is hard, you know, physically, it's exhausting, it's lonely. And if you could just wake up one day and money wasn't a pressure would be, yeah, would just be so good.
Jen (46:28.59)
Mm.
Jen (46:44.846)
Mm.
Jen (46:49.87)
Yeah, and that flows onto your kids too, right? Like the kids then have more choices potentially, or they see that you do these things and they learn through example.
Melissa Neilsen (46:58.818)
Yes, exactly. And because in a farming family set up, you know, it's all hand down, it's succession planning, it's inheritances, it's, you know, working for nothing your entire life because you're going to get this farm at the end of the day or and, and that's fine if that's worked for some families. But for me, I don't want my kids growing up like that. And my husband's the same, we want to do better, we want to do different. We want to show our kids that
you know, if you've got a dream, you're absolutely worthy and valuable and you're valuable now. And you know, you're not valuable when you're 70 and you can't do anything with what you've just inherited. So yeah, we just don't want them to be limited. And so yeah, and I just think for my daughter, it'd be different for her because she won't be marrying in, she's born into the family. So it may be quite different for her.
Jen (47:34.222)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (47:57.25)
But I just want her to see a woman that, you know, hasn't like has set boundaries for herself and has stood up for herself and has achieved against the odds, you know. I'd like for her to see that and she does. She's she's a cool kid. And I just, yeah, I don't want her to be limited growing up, nor for my boys. And I'd like for my boys to see that women are strong and powerful.
and women can do things and women are absolutely deserving as well. We aren't just meant to be shoved in the kitchen out here and we are smart, intelligent creatures who actually have a voice and maybe what we're saying is worthwhile listening to. So that's important for the boys to see as well. So yeah, there's so much. There's so much you can do. Yeah.
Jen (48:47.566)
Absolutely. And what do you think the next, so you were saying before, like you bought the house or the townhouse. What do you think is sitting, are you ready to share what the next thing kind of is, or you just don't know yet?
Melissa Neilsen (49:01.666)
yeah, like I've thought, you know, I've got this one, this house for me and the kids and hubby to use as the townhouse. But yeah, I'm working with a broker who's amazing and she's actually from a farming family business and she totally gets our situations and she's all about creating financial freedom for the women in the bush. So.
Jen (49:02.798)
Is it another house?
Melissa Neilsen (49:25.858)
I've been working with her and she's like, you know, it's absolutely doable. Get another house and that one can be your rental income and just keep building your property portfolio that way. So yeah, that's on the cards. You know, but even just nice things like going on a holiday, you know, like my mum's always wanted to go for a white Christmas. She still hasn't done it. Like, and I've always thought I don't want to be like that. I don't want to, I don't want to not do things.
So just even being able to be financially able to go on a holiday that we've always dreamed of, that would be cool.
Jen (50:03.246)
Yeah. And how does it feel to know that you're like, it's your business, like you're, I'm going to call it a little fitness business because that's what it was. That's not what it is, but has enabled you to do those things. Look, I think that's fucking cool.
Melissa Neilsen (50:18.53)
Yeah. Yeah. And I've had times where I haven't taken it seriously and I haven't, like I've thought, you know, nobody cares about little old me. Like I'm just little Melissa out on the station. You know, people that are working with me are just, you know, they say nice things and they're being friendly to me because they know me and they like me. I haven't really valued the work I've done until you get the feedback from these women.
telling me the difference that I've made in their lives. And the women reaching out to me saying, hey, can I please work out with you? I need this kind of support in my life. That's when I've gone, you know what? Like I have created something special here. And yeah, it's like a, I don't know, it's quite surreal that I actually have done it and doing it. Yeah, what started off as very small as a hobby.
and I remember coming to one of my first sessions with you going, you know, like, how, like, what should I do to make, more money? And you were like, you could make it a business instead of working part -time as a hobby. And so I did. And it's silly because, you know, like, why did it take someone to say that to me? Like, I, you know, it's, it's not rocket science, but it did, it just required someone to plant that seed in my head to go, you know, like you, you absolutely can do that.
you know, why are you not doing that? And yeah, so here I am.
Jen (51:52.174)
It's not silly. And I think that there's so many people listening to today. There'll be moms listening and there'll be trainers that also are moms listening and lots and lots of trainers that choose to work with moms start running hobby businesses. And I think it's really important that we as women understand that if we want something to grow, we have to start to see it differently. And that's the first little kind of tip, tipping point to move it into that kind of real business business.
Jen (53:09.87)
All right, to start to wrap us up, if you could change one thing about whether it's the fitness industry, how women in rural communities birth babies, whatever it may be, what would that be?
Melissa Neilsen (53:40.29)
So if I could change one thing, it would just, it would absolutely be getting those women's health professionals into our hospitals, the physios, and educating the women to know that that is actually a service available to them. And somehow even connecting the women that live too far away to see them in person, to see them via Zoom, you know, and then if they have to travel in.
then they can facilitate that. But that would be my number one goal for rural women.
Jen (54:11.31)
Mm.
Yeah, I love it every time whenever you talk about it. I'm like, there surely there can be because we did telehealth all the way through COVID, right? So we moved a lot of these services to telehealth. So what if there was a online portal and could be your portal. So a rural women becomes pregnant, she logs into your portal, then your portal connects her with a pelvic health physiotherapist ideally close to her and they have some kind of
one -on -one conversation, they talk about hypertonic pelvic floors, all that kind of thing go through, then they, so that consultation kind of says, should you, do you need to see a pelvic health physio in person, which ideally they do, but they may not do, and then they have their baby, and then we reconnect them postpartum, even if the hospitals are not doing it, with that pelvic health physiotherapist to have a postpartum kind of debrief on what's happened in their birth, and then they get.
to go see a pelvic health physiognath afterwards. So all you need to set up now is an extra little thing in the back end of your business and start to have these telehealth kind of like bookings happening. It'd be simple, you could do that.
Melissa Neilsen (55:18.434)
So.
Melissa Neilsen (55:23.458)
Yeah, yeah, like that's the ideal. And, you know, there's the all allied health professionals travel out to these remote places often, you know, we've got the flying doctor who travels out and does like he'll go to properties and, you know, everyone from the surrounding properties will come to the clinic from the Royal Flying Doctor. We need to get women's health physios or pelvic health therapists on these planes and, you know, traveling out so you can see a speech therapist.
Jen (55:35.374)
Mm.
Melissa Neilsen (55:53.506)
in our local hospital but you can't see a pelvic health therapist because there's none traveling out and I don't know do we need more pelvic health therapists are there not enough of them in you know the areas to service the rural sector I don't know yeah.
Jen (56:05.614)
Maybe, I mean, it could be the case. Yeah. But my brain is now going, what grants are there out there? And I know we had a brief, you know, backwards and forwards on messenger the other day, but what are the grants? How do, I don't know, I don't even know if you want to take this on as part of your mission, because it's not necessarily a paid thing, but it is a fundamental change thing that, you know, getting pelvic health physiotherapists to rural communities.
you know, at least twice a year or something, something along those lines, because there'll be women living there that, like you said before, they had babies 30 years ago and they're still suffering in silence. So it's not, we're not only trying to go and see new moms, like, yes, we want to see the new moms, we want to see the pregnant moms, but we want to see the women of all, all ages and stages from a pelvic health perspective. Absolutely. Yeah.
Melissa Neilsen (56:51.01)
Yep. Yep. Absolutely.
Jen (56:57.166)
Mel, if somebody wants to find you, they're listening, they want to come and join your classes, check out your Instagram, whatever it may be, how do they find you?
Melissa Neilsen (57:06.946)
Yeah, super easy. Just search for me on Facebook or Insta at rural underscore women's underscore exercise and you will find me and please chuck me a message. I think my email is there as well. You can or you could try info at rural women's exercise .com .au because I love a chat and love to catch up with anyone that wants to pop into my inbox. I'll have a chat with you.
Jen (57:35.438)
but Mel, thank you for taking time to hang out with me today. It's always an absolute pleasure. I love nothing more than getting to the retreat and seeing you in person and hearing all of the amazing things that you're doing. Cause we do catch up, you know, in between times, but there's nothing like doing it in person. You're someone that inspires me consistently. You take something and you...
implement it and you run with it and you're doing really amazing things. So I'm really privileged to be to be a part of your journey. And yeah, keep doing what you're doing because it's amazing. And I'm like waiting for my next text of the amazing things you're doing out in the world. So thank you for being part of mom safe and also for spending time with us today and the amazing work you're doing in your community.
Melissa Neilsen (58:28.066)
Thank you, Jen. Appreciate it.
